Of chemistry, connection, and affection

At any given point of time, there are millions of neurons in our brains, firing away at the speed of light, making and breaking connections, forming and dissolving thoughts. While the connections of neurons are invisible to us, it is the connections that we form externally, that we perceive and react to.

The deal with connections is that they have very little to do with love. While being in love may result in a connection, having a connection may definitely not lead to being in love. It is the interplay between the two that often results in a world of confusion.

I think of the possible kinds of chemistry human beings develop and sustain, excluding of course, familial ties. Chemistry that leads to generation altering music, such as the Beatles; the kind of chemistry that lead to fame of an unprecedented nature. Chemistry between Francis Crick and James D. Watson culminating into the discovery of Deoxyribonucleic acid. Chemistry amongst con men leading to complex, ingenuous, baffling heists. Chemistry between an actor and a director leading to seminal work. Chemistry can, undoubtedly, be palpable and mysterious at the same time.

But what makes me wonder is the truth behind a connection with another human being. What keeps it going? What burns it out? What makes it fade away? Most often than not, a connection may only be with respect to a singular aspect of a personality. Sometimes a connection is reactive like sodium, other times comfortingly inert like gold. Sometimes a connection burns faster than it should, and leaves nothing behind. As it would appear, it is possible to love someone and yet have lost the connection that once existed. On the contrary, it is possible to meet someone after years and revive a connection with as much ease as setting fire to dry leaves. Connections can be comforting, making us feel like someone shares our wavelength. They can be oddly confusing too, making us wonder how someone like us can be so unlike us as well.

I blame the human brain for the fuzzy lines between chemistry, connections, and love. If only there were separate boxes for each; the people we love and the people we connect with. It would probably result in extremely measured relationships in terms of expectations or maybe all of this is a far shot. Maybe we're meant to muddle up the love with the chemistry and the connection and lead ourselves into believing a whole new story.

How would you like it?

In recent times, consumerism has grown exponentially, bombarding us with a plethora of choices. While some choices are heartening, others are plain confusing. From clothes to food, from cars to shoes, the options are infinite. However certain avenues of our lives have remained impervious to possible choice making. While we now have the capability of customizing and personalizing almost all material aspects of our lives, the choice of a romantic partner remains surprisingly immune to cherry picking.

That part of human nature to want and desire more often leads me to wonder, what would it be like to customize our romantic relationships. At this point, I would succinctly state, that any couple claiming to have it all, deserves a derisive chuckle. The creative conscience in us desires certain characteristics in a romantic partner, some of which may be intellectual, physical, emotional or purely whimsical. There is no rationale for them really.

A conversation with a male friend revealed that he prefers women with high cheekbones and another prefers a sharpened sense of humour. As amusing as it may be, we all secretly bear such preferences in our minds. One may prefer a partner with a love of sports, an inclination to remain indoors, a passion for travel, a soft spot for animals or an affinity towards adventure. But these are more conventional and easily detectable attributes, that could be revealed at earlier stages of interaction.

What if there could be a way to program the human mind to filter out possible romantic interactions based on certain whimsical demands? There is software for all sorts of filtering functions (pardon the shaky jargon, not much of a computer aficionado). A program which permits us to feed in those small, seemingly innocuous requirements, which end up being oh so instrumental. This hypothetical program in our minds could determine whether a possible romantic match has potential or is punch-less like a badly made Bloody Mary.

The curse of the quirky and whimsical attribute is, once you know you need it, you really cannot overlook it and it becomes the elephant in the romantic room. To be illustrative would be delving into the personal, and I would like to avoid that. To cite certain hypothetical examples, one may deep down, prefer a partner with a sense of Victorian romance, or one who hates mangoes, or one who sees the similarities between Pink Floyd and Porcupine Tree, or one who reads the newspaper backwards, or one who refreshes a drink before finishing it, or one who listens to jazz while cooking. The quirky mind has endless possibilities. But even if an inkling of a possibility is met, the feeling would be indescribable.

However, there are people who have found immense happiness together, and it makes me wonder, have they silenced that deviant part of their minds, have they accepted the possibility that quirks are like quarks or have they found the proverbial fit?

walk of life

i was sitting in a cafe on brigade road the other day, waiting for a fried who I hadn't seen in over a year. But owing to Bangalore's snarling traffic and log jammed roads, she was a little late. so I decided to be the person who sits alone in the outer portion of the cafe and watch people walk down the busy brigade road. I know it appears weird and random, but it definitely is a more offbeat way to kill time.
and also, I had never taken time to stop on brigade road and really absorb the atmosphere.
Most of the time, it's a rush down the road, generally with a purpose.
so as I was sitting, I made note of the people around me. A group of young college goers obvious by their chatter, a young man reading the newspaper and smoking, lost in thought. I was the only person sitting alone I thought, amused.
the road was a sea of people moving in both directions, to be grandiose, like waves. It is really fascinating to note how diverse people can be, I know it is stating the obvious, but even then.
so I looked outwards at the road, uninhibited as I realised, I will not see any of these people!
The interesting thing is how much one can gauge about a city just by sitting and looking at the people on a busy road. techies at rushing at the end of the day, young couples attempting to stroll through the hustle bustle, college kids in large groups oblivious of their surroundings.
It suddenly struck me how funny I must look, gazing out and smiling to myself. To be a little philosophical, people walking past reminded me of how life goes on, unstoppable and powerful, in a sense. How many times do we live the moment and extract the best we can? how many times does one actually go to bed with a sense of accomplishment?
i snapped out of my reverie as she waved to me.

bollywood is back, and back with a bang! bollywood, with the physics defying stunts, logic defeating plots, unbelievable vixens, unattainable men, RACE brings it all.
I enjoyed the movie for it's sheer lack of sense and the cliff hanging suspense. the story line was not bad but a little too convoluted for the regular bolly buff.
what i fail to understand is how the women in our movies, (read: bipasha basu and katrina kaif) manage to have their hair in place irrespective of whether they have been showering or driving a convertible! the make up remains 'dior' perfect, in absolute disregard of the situation or time.
the movie was a regular mix of betrayal, tonnes of skin show which, as always, was really not required, except to compensate for the lack of acting skills in the female leads.
it is always amusing to make a note of the way the women dress, in this case, tacky and cheap dressing. does pink boots, red earrings and red nail paint read sophisticated and sexy?? the men on the other hand, (read: saif in particular) dressed impeccably in well stitched suits. wonder how they land up with the most empty of women..
no matter what happens on the personal front, work takes care of itself, irrespective of marriages, 'races', fraternal spats, romance, the work is self sufficient. the offices are plush, but somehow the bigger the business the emptier the office.
the music is bearable most of the times, while otherwise it is just a filler, like when a woman is being interrogated and she is giving her statement, why must a song be featured?? surely there are better ways of showcasing long legs and luscious lips.
men jump around defying gravity, making newton turn in his grave, women run in stilleto heels, suitcases overflow with money, alcohol remains staple, sexiness stays big.
love is all in the eyes, sexy, glamorous and all in the first sight. slit your throat, put everything at stake, die for you love.
the i don't want to lose you, i hate losers, you are the most beautiful woman ever etc etc dialogues shall maintain the light side of it!
let me not spoil this for you, watch the movie for everything it has to offer!

disclaimer: the review should be taken with a pinch of salt. just the like the movie was!

saga of the 'K'

just the other day, Ekta Kapoor, the queen of daily soaps was on koffee with Karan. and it is that very inane chat that compelled me to write about her so called 'work' (with due regard to all the people who appreciate it)
open curtains, the scene is that of a middle class family talking about their simple daughter's wedding, a scene that almost every middle class family witnesses, but what is the difference here? the mother is sitting at home dripping with diamonds and dressed in a kanjeevaram.. seems familiar? you bet it is, this is a scene right out of a K serial.
K serials, where the middle class lives in bungalows even the Ambanis don't live in, where houses remain clean without any servants and inspite of women who don't do any household work, where plastic surgeries are doled out like candy, where people are immortal (read kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi), where women come up with the most complex of revenge plans, where women go to bed with perfect make up and done hair, where businesses run successfully even though the so called CEO's party all the time..
this is the the world created by Ekta Kapoor, a world she says exists and people relate too. she's right in saying that the middle class has problems that are common to each family. but she has made a mockery of this. all she has done is glamourised everything and showcased fashion jewellery.
all her serials go down the same old beaten path. she thinks she can sell this way. her work is uncreative, repetitive, boring and lacks any sort of clarity.
K serials are to Indian television what Karan Johar movies are to indian Cinema..
but let me point out, this is entirely my opinion and a statutory warning to all the people who wish to watch the K serials!

The house

it wasn't the biggest of bungalows you would find, neither was it exclusively located. it was inconspicuously placed in the industrial town of Kanpur. it didn't have any spectacular beauty around it nor was it set in a place of natural endowments.
though it may sund drab and colourless, for me it had the most heavenly things within. the house was built by my maternal grandfather and till recently had a weather beaten and grand look. every moment spent in that house was special. as a toddler i would lovingly refer to the house as 'my palace'.
every thing about the house fascinated me. the house had a variety of plants and trees that my grandparents had so lovingly planted. the old mango tree in the back garden looked over the house and seemed to tell birds stories. the smaller bushes were cooler playgrounds for the insects and squirrels squeaked in delight as they clamboured over the guava tree.
summer nights in the house were so enchanting, sitting in the garden savouring the balmy breeze, listening to evening prayers in the distance.
the house had a spirit, which would pull me every year towards it. even daily chores would seem fun! in the winters, the delicious sunlight would dance in every corner of the house, from one lawn to the other, streaming in through the windows and lighting up the windows. with the shifting rays, we too would shift to enjoy every moment.
winter evenings were filled with the warmth and smell of a slow burning coal fire and sumptious food. the house commanded respect and had a magnetism which pulled me year after year. it was more than just bricks and cement, we spun many fond memories, enjoyed every day.
but with time things change, my grandparents left the house to live close to us in Delhi due to many practical reasons. we were inwardly upset but did not show it. our grandparents were even more upset, they had built it with their own hands. forme it was like leaving a family member behind. i had heated arguments with my mother, but soon realised the validity of her reason.
it all happened in a blur and my grandparents came to live in Delhi.
time has passed but memories remain. even now when i talk to grandparents, somewhere in the midst of our conversations, the memories come out. even now when i sit idle, i go into a world of cherished memories. time coagulates and i can see everything clearly in my mind's eye. that is when i wish i could go back, to 'my palace', the heaven, the dream and relive every memory, every moment..

Rain

mere drops of water drop from the sky,
but human connotations are much too high.
rain of sheer delight and ecstacy,
drops of enigma and mystery.
cooling, soothing and satiating,
or boring, obnoxious and irritating?
different moods, feelings and interpretations,
of tiny drops falling from the heavens.
like tears of relief and satisfaction,
like a smile of accepting a vision,
pearls of blessings,
or stones of curses?
what is it?
everything in life is seen,
like a raindrop or a beam.
everything good, everything bad,
everything happy, everything sad.
the rain comes dancing down to earth,
giving abundance to dearth,
and despair to abundance.
but its aim is joy and bliss,
not to leave earth without a complete journey,
same for humans,
one's food, anothers poison,
one's sunrise, other's sunset,
one's springtime, other's winter,
one's bllom, another's wither.
the rain is symbolic of life's events,
it may be unwanted or godsend,
but in the final and true bargain,
the rain remains the rain..